Do you ever feel so incredibly disgusting that you don’t want anyone to touch you, or even glance at you because you’re so ashamed of how grotesque you feel?
59555) My family when I eat whatever I want: “You’re fat”, “You’re eating THAT much?”. My family when I try to eat healthy: “Why can’t you eat normally?”, “Why do you have to make your own food?” , “Are you sure you can eat THIS?”. My family when I’m starving/purging: “You look sick because you aren’t eating properly.”, “I’ll eat this because you’re just going to throw it up any ways”. I just can’t seem to win.
Brother: I can feel your ribs..
Me: I know, but can you see them?
Brother: Not really...
Me: Then its not good enough.
Dearest Parents,
How do you expect me to hear your voiceless cries, if you don’t even bother to hear mine? You cut off my words and pretend I don’t exist, but when I finally start to disppear from your lives, its completely all my fault when the both of you spiral into depression. It doesn’t feel lovely to be ignored now does it?
Find someone else to be your stone, cold pillar, because I’m through. I’m cracking a crumbling at every throw you’ve given me and I’m done. The foundation below me is sinking… I cannot be the ground that holds you up. I am your child and this boat is sinking. It has long set sail and the storms of your troubles are sinking this vessel.
You refused to help carry my burdens, yet I have to be your pack mule? No. Not anymore. My words always fell upon deaf ears, and now so will yours.
